Liar Liar pants on fire

Jennylee Taylor • Nov 10, 2019

What is your personal lie and how does it impact your life?

There has been much acclaimed research about the human phenomenon of lying and there are many reasons including to protect ourselves, to promote ourselves or to impact others. These lies are outward and told to deceive others and benefit ourselves in some way.

But what about the lies we tell ourselves.  The ones that are undermining everything we do in life? The insidious personal lie that pervades our own very existence and underpins everything we do. The one we unconsciously cross our fingers about hoping that no one will discover because we feel ashamed and embarrassed.

What is your personal lie?

The dictionary defines a lie as: “a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood”.

If you were asked: “what is the MOST negative thought you have about yourself”, what would you say?

Take a deep breath now and notice what comes up. Most people immediately have something come to mind in some way.

Whatever thought popped into your head   could be your personal lie.

Your personal lie is THE [underlined] MOST NEGATIVE thought you have about yourself that you carry around with you all day every day.  It’s the deep seeded bottom line belief that you took on board at some point to be true for you, and, it undermines everything you do. It’s like the white ants in your house that go about eating at your foundations until one day you are left with a skeleton of a home.  Like white ants, your personal lie is an unintentional untruth which can go unrecognised for a long time before you find out you need to do something about it.

How did you get this unintentional UNTRUTH?

When we come into this world, we carry with us the potential for leading a full, joyful, peaceful and rewarding life living in the truth of who we are as loving, creative, harmonious souls.  This is called being in your ETERNAL TRUTH.
The trouble is, along the way we listen to parents, siblings, teachers and respond to events in our environment and we start to believe that we are not these things.

We start to form an opinion of ourselves that reflects what we may be hearing or experiencing about who we are in life.  This opinion is amplified by our constant thoughts (60,000 a day).  Our thoughts drive our actions which produce results.  The results may be desirable or undesirable depending on how we are minding our language and usually come with emotions that are equally desirable or undesirable commensurate with the thought and subsequent result.  How we respond to these results then informs our belief system which in turns cycles back to inform our next thought and opinion.

If we are consistently hearing someone tell us that we are no good, will never amount to anything, are useless, or ugly we can become so attached to it that we start to believe it to be true. 

Or maybe you got the feeling that your opinion didn’t matter, you were overlooked in the family or no one seemed to listen to you. This might leave you feeling worthless, unlovable and like you are nothing.

What are some examples of the personal lie?

A common personal lie is “I am not good enough”.

Oh yes THAT chestnut! How many times have you thought this about yourself over the years?

You may not even know you are doing it so often.

You have repeated it so many times that it is now part of your cellular memory and every time you find yourself in a position where you are comparing yourself, or being compared to someone else the “I am not good enough” voice speaks out and you shrink back into yourself.

It MUST be true right? There always seemed to be someone better at doing the job, whatever you do doesn’t seem to be good enough for your partner, you feel like you just are not good at anything.
WRONG!  This is your very own PERSONAL LIE. 

Every time you are ready and excited about doing something awesome you unconsciously create circumstances to prove that you must not be good enough. It becomes a script that runs your life.

It’s EXHAUSTING because you are forever chasing a better result and can never stop to appreciate your wins because they don’t seem like wins to you.

You are always on guard, you feel like you are on a treadmill that never stops, your stress levels are high and worse still, you have no idea who you are anymore.

You feel like your life doesn’t seem to prosper, your relationships constantly fail or are really hard work, you don’t get that promotion at work, and over time you feel stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated and resentful.

It doesn’t matter how much harder you work than everyone else, how much higher you climb, how much you do good for others,  you never feel like it is enough, because you “know” that you are “not good enough”.

It all falls on your deaf ears when other people tell you how great you are, because deep down you just don’t believe it.  You even question to yourself why they could even think you are amazing because you “know” that you could have done better!

 What they don’t know and you don’t realise is that you are working SUPER HARD to show them that you are not, “not good enough” and to present a face to the world that is opposite to what you believe about yourself.

In fact on the outside everyone sees you as the successful one who is constantly kicking goals. You appear confident and are certainly good enough to them.

Why would you keep running the “I am not good enough” script?

Because as humans we inherently want to be right and you only need to look back at the repeating events in your life that don't bring you what you want to realise what your personal lie might be.

You are not getting the good stuff BECAUSE of what you unconsciously believe about yourself.

You unconsciously sabotage your life and set yourself up to be right as a person who believes that you are “not good enough”.

Some other common personal lies, how they might play out in your life and a possible Eternal Truth
  • I am worthless  > You can never get ahead financially, you feel like a doormat in relationship >   I am valuable/worthy
  • I am not good enough  >  You are highly stressed, you  don’t accept praise and always say it’s a “team effort” >   I am enough
  • I am nothing  >  No one seems to listen to you, you are invisible in relationship  >  I am valuable, worth it
  • I am a burden >   You wonder why they always leave you in relationship, your life seems “heavy” and not easy  >  I am easy to be with
  • I am ugly >   You are focused on how you look, you always aim to be the best dressed, you might work in an industry that puts a spotlight on your beauty >   I am beautiful
  • I am stupid  >  Always doing more courses and don’t feel like you know enough yet  >  I am wise/ clever
  • I am unlovable  >  You don’t seem to have loving relationships  >  I am lovable

It’s not all bad news though

THE TRUTH IS that you can stop running the personal lie script and start running the ETERNAL TRUTH script. You can let go of your belief that you are not good enough and breathe it out of your cellular memory.  You can use your breath to find that moment in time that you first believed it to be true and resolve the memory and emotion around it.

1.    First you find the awareness that this is what is going on
2.    Then you find what your ETERNAL TRUTH is (usually the opposite of your lie)
3.    You breathe and seek resolution of why you took on board your personal lie in the first place.
4.    You move forward in life living with your ETERNAL TRUTH
5.    You experience how your world transforms.

What impact can letting go of your personal lie have on your life?

When you let go of and resolve the source of your personal lie, life can feel different.
 
You come from a different place inside. Instead of using all of your energy to mask and hide and prove to others that you are not “not good enough”, you can come from a place of “I am enough”. 

From this place you can actually be more productive, more energetic, less stressed, and without overwhelm. You can feel freer, lighter, more confident, more at peace.

You can focus on: your relationships knowing that you ARE ENOUGH with love; your job with confidence that you have when you know you ARE ENOUGH; being more connected to your SELF and what you want in life as a person who IS ENOUGH.

You can BE YOU.
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Jennylee has a practice where she works with people to reconnect with who they are so they can do whatever lights up their life coming from a place of internal power and peace. Contact Jennylee

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