Your personal lie is the most insidious lie you can ever tell. It pervades everything you do and unconsciously sabotages everything you try to achieve in life
Sometimes in the busyness of life we lose track of how great life can be. You know, those times when life feels juicy and you LOVE YOUR LIFE. Check out these simple tips to help you get back on track
How motor racing is a reflection of life. How to slowdown and regroup in between the stressful moments.
How understanding your breath can help you to learn about yourself, to deeply listen to your body so you can gain personal insights into your patterns and belief systems.
How being grounded can help you perform better in teams, in life
How often do you catch yourself holding your breath?
Most of us are involved in "small deaths" all day every day because we do not breathe ourselves fully ALIVE.
Breath is life. The way we breathe fosters clear or confused thinking, makes us excited or calm, tense or relaxed and worsens or improves every health condition possible.
Ironically many of you will hold your breath when you are concentrating on something or when you are in deep thinking mode, which is actually counterproductive to clear thinking. (That’s where I catch myself the most)
Other times you might hold your breath:
• When you get a fright
• When you are tense
• When you are waiting for an announcement
• When you hurt yourself
Understanding how your breath works for you is about practicing awareness.
As you go about your day you are invited to take notice of how you are breathing. Each time you catch yourself holding your breath do the following:
1. Sit back
2. Take a full and deep breath in
3. Relax on the out breath
4. Repeat a couple of times
5. Get on with your day
Live and Breathe well
Would you like to know more? Contact me
Most of us are involved in "small deaths" all day every day because we do not breathe ourselves fully ALIVE.
Breath is life. The way we breathe fosters clear or confused thinking, makes us excited or calm, tense or relaxed and worsens or improves every health condition possible.
Ironically many of you will hold your breath when you are concentrating on something or when you are in deep thinking mode, which is actually counterproductive to clear thinking. (That’s where I catch myself the most)
Other times you might hold your breath:
• When you get a fright
• When you are tense
• When you are waiting for an announcement
• When you hurt yourself
Understanding how your breath works for you is about practicing awareness.
As you go about your day you are invited to take notice of how you are breathing. Each time you catch yourself holding your breath do the following:
1. Sit back
2. Take a full and deep breath in
3. Relax on the out breath
4. Repeat a couple of times
5. Get on with your day
Live and Breathe well
Would you like to know more? Contact me
Two things impressed me about Professor Elanor Huntington at the “Career Strategies for Women in STEM fields” hosted by HunterWise and The Faculty of Engineering and Built Environment at UON last Friday 5 July.
Firstly, Professor Huntington is a woman who knows who she is and secondly she is passionate about supporting all the stakeholders in academia to make positive change.
Professor Huntington came across to me as a woman who ponders deeply and reflects on her role in life, how she responds to those around her and someone who leads from a place of personal power. Her manner is easy, open, honest and authentic and there is a sense of "this is who I am".
Right up front she talked about understanding enough about herself to know that she is an introvert – “energy comes from inside” and shy – “fear of rejection” and tells us stories of how this played out in her career and the level of self-care that was required to support herself along the way.
Having “drifted into science” because she was “good at it” and had “no burning desire” to do anything else at the time, Professor Huntington has a lot of firsts under her proverbial belt. The most recent of which is the first female Dean of the College of Engineering and Computer Science (CECS) at ANU, explaining that taking on this role has been the second most ”transformational experience” in her career.
The first being when she was asked to step up into a higher role at another institution. In the context of her talk, I interpreted transformational to mean experiences that stretch one beyond the current understanding of what one might have of oneself to be capable. When asked why she declined (3 times before she was told it was not a request) to take the role Professor Huntington replied: “It seemed like too big of a step from where I was at the time” and went on to say that finally taking the position turned out to be a “transformational four years”. Evidently Professor Huntington has surrounded herself with people that have “supported me to be me” and admits that gender was never a real issue for her in her career, going on to say that she has no lived experience of having a female boss or having to cope with being a parent whilst building her career.
What she did say was that there a plenty of good men out there who are just blissfully unaware of the challenges of women and that they are the ones we need to bring along to these types of talks. It was at that point, one of the only men in the room piped up and said that he was one of those men. His personal experience had been that women were just naturally successful because his wife, mother and sister are all successful women. It wasn’t even on his radar to know that some women struggle building careers because of a myriad of issues that impact them along the way. Now that he understands this he is a huge and active advocate for supporting women in STEM careers.
“Building a career” is loosely fitting when it comes to Professor Huntington’s career. She “drifted into science” even after been told by a careers advisor at school not to bother with math or engineering and to go and study anthropology instead (a clear example of cognitive bias in the aptitude testing in the 1980/90’s). Rather Professor Huntington said her career success could be partly attributed to the fact that she “kept doing things that seemed to me to be important to do” and that she had never targeted climbing the academic “greasy” pole and had not intentionally set out to accumulate “badges”.
She did admit that as an up and coming engineer she often has had to find unique ways to operate in the system and now that she had her current position she could “bend the world around her”. This came across from a personal space of power with, rather than power over others to make change.
So what were the clues to know that Professor Huntington knows who she is? Using the words and “transformational”, “aware”, “supported to be me”, and understanding how being “shy and introvert” works for her and doesn’t work for her are clues that Professor Huntington knows who she is. To be able to Mind Your Language is an important aspect of creating success in your life.
Secondly, Professor Huntington is passionate about academia, students and industry and how, in her opinion, academia in general is on the verge of having a Kodak moment , losing touch with the needs of students and industry who are hiring the students. At the ANU, Professor Elanor Huntington is leading a project to reimagine a new type of engineering and computing, one that is custom built and fit for the middle of the 21st century.
All in all a very insightful couple of hours spent in the company of interesting and inspiring people.
The key Career Strategies for Women in STEM fields that I learned from Professor Huntington are:
Keep doing the things that seemed to be important to do
Surround yourself with people that support you
Find a workplace that empowers you where you can safely develop your listening and community skills
Keep your options open
Think outside of the box when it comes to the selection criteria for positions. What is the underlying meaning behind what they have asked for?
Do your part in the education of men about the workplace gender issues
Find a mentor. Be bold to find someone that inspires you and ask them.
Get to know who you are. What drives you, how you sabotage you, what you need to do to support your own self care
-----------------
Jennylee has a personal interest in the issues involving women taking on STEM careers having "grown up" in a STEM career herself. Now her focus has shifted to health and wellbeing and how the individual as a whole person is affected in the workplace and in life in general.
If you would like to learn more Contact me
Firstly, Professor Huntington is a woman who knows who she is and secondly she is passionate about supporting all the stakeholders in academia to make positive change.
Professor Huntington came across to me as a woman who ponders deeply and reflects on her role in life, how she responds to those around her and someone who leads from a place of personal power. Her manner is easy, open, honest and authentic and there is a sense of "this is who I am".
Right up front she talked about understanding enough about herself to know that she is an introvert – “energy comes from inside” and shy – “fear of rejection” and tells us stories of how this played out in her career and the level of self-care that was required to support herself along the way.
Having “drifted into science” because she was “good at it” and had “no burning desire” to do anything else at the time, Professor Huntington has a lot of firsts under her proverbial belt. The most recent of which is the first female Dean of the College of Engineering and Computer Science (CECS) at ANU, explaining that taking on this role has been the second most ”transformational experience” in her career.
The first being when she was asked to step up into a higher role at another institution. In the context of her talk, I interpreted transformational to mean experiences that stretch one beyond the current understanding of what one might have of oneself to be capable. When asked why she declined (3 times before she was told it was not a request) to take the role Professor Huntington replied: “It seemed like too big of a step from where I was at the time” and went on to say that finally taking the position turned out to be a “transformational four years”. Evidently Professor Huntington has surrounded herself with people that have “supported me to be me” and admits that gender was never a real issue for her in her career, going on to say that she has no lived experience of having a female boss or having to cope with being a parent whilst building her career.
What she did say was that there a plenty of good men out there who are just blissfully unaware of the challenges of women and that they are the ones we need to bring along to these types of talks. It was at that point, one of the only men in the room piped up and said that he was one of those men. His personal experience had been that women were just naturally successful because his wife, mother and sister are all successful women. It wasn’t even on his radar to know that some women struggle building careers because of a myriad of issues that impact them along the way. Now that he understands this he is a huge and active advocate for supporting women in STEM careers.
“Building a career” is loosely fitting when it comes to Professor Huntington’s career. She “drifted into science” even after been told by a careers advisor at school not to bother with math or engineering and to go and study anthropology instead (a clear example of cognitive bias in the aptitude testing in the 1980/90’s). Rather Professor Huntington said her career success could be partly attributed to the fact that she “kept doing things that seemed to me to be important to do” and that she had never targeted climbing the academic “greasy” pole and had not intentionally set out to accumulate “badges”.
She did admit that as an up and coming engineer she often has had to find unique ways to operate in the system and now that she had her current position she could “bend the world around her”. This came across from a personal space of power with, rather than power over others to make change.
So what were the clues to know that Professor Huntington knows who she is? Using the words and “transformational”, “aware”, “supported to be me”, and understanding how being “shy and introvert” works for her and doesn’t work for her are clues that Professor Huntington knows who she is. To be able to Mind Your Language is an important aspect of creating success in your life.
Secondly, Professor Huntington is passionate about academia, students and industry and how, in her opinion, academia in general is on the verge of having a Kodak moment , losing touch with the needs of students and industry who are hiring the students. At the ANU, Professor Elanor Huntington is leading a project to reimagine a new type of engineering and computing, one that is custom built and fit for the middle of the 21st century.
All in all a very insightful couple of hours spent in the company of interesting and inspiring people.
The key Career Strategies for Women in STEM fields that I learned from Professor Huntington are:
Keep doing the things that seemed to be important to do
Surround yourself with people that support you
Find a workplace that empowers you where you can safely develop your listening and community skills
Keep your options open
Think outside of the box when it comes to the selection criteria for positions. What is the underlying meaning behind what they have asked for?
Do your part in the education of men about the workplace gender issues
Find a mentor. Be bold to find someone that inspires you and ask them.
Get to know who you are. What drives you, how you sabotage you, what you need to do to support your own self care
-----------------
Jennylee has a personal interest in the issues involving women taking on STEM careers having "grown up" in a STEM career herself. Now her focus has shifted to health and wellbeing and how the individual as a whole person is affected in the workplace and in life in general.
If you would like to learn more Contact me
When someone says “mind your language” we usually associate it with not using profanities around our parents and grandparents and there could even be a swear jar involved. This is not a lecture about swearing, rather is discusses how the language we use affects the results we get and how we feel about what is going on in our lives.
The importance of our words and language.
Did you know that we have 60,000 thoughts a day? Our thoughts convert into language where we express ourselves and communicate with others. The words we use consistently describe the emotions of life and out of the approximately 3000 words in the English language that describe emotions only about 1000 describe positive emotions and the other 2000 describe negative emotions.
According to Anthony Robbins “The words we use not only affect the experience, they become the experience”
You might be familiar with the thoughts is creative process where we think something, it initiates an action, that then produces a result, which informs our belief system, which impacts our next thought. If we are also speaking out that thought “today is a bad day”, “why do I always get the raw end of the deal”, “this drives me crazy” then we are in effect creating that experience in the moment …. Moment by moment.
On top of that, 60,000 thoughts a day is equivalent to 2500 thoughts an hour or approximately 40 thoughts a minute. Let’s say 10% of those thoughts are negative ones. That equates to you internally telling yourself 5760 times a day that something is not working for you (“I am stuck”, “I am useless”, “I and stupid”.
When we are talking to ourselves (internal thoughts) in this way it’s called our internal chatterbox, and Anthony Robbins goes on to call the act of speaking out your internal chatterbox “dis-empowering mind language”. Imagine putting money in the swear jar every time you spoke that way to your self!
Over a lifetime the accumulating and stacking of the internal chatterbox and dis-empowering language into your body brain system has a huge impact on our life (and a fat jar). It is likely that at best we are not living the life to our fullest potential and at worse we are living a life filled with overwhelm, frustration and anxiety?
Where do our thoughts and mind language come from?
Let’s say we have three levels of existence: The Higher Self where our super conscious, connected and intuitive Self holds positive thoughts; The Middle Self which is the home of our conscious and reasoning thought; and the Lower Self where the subconscious memories and the negative mind language and chatterbox and lives.
Most of the time we mill around the lower and middle Self, trying to reason with the past, worrying about the future and bombarding our self with mindless chatter. This is when we struggle against life and everything feels like a huge effort which takes inordinate amounts of energy to just get through the day.
Your language has an affect on how you feel. How different do you feel when you say: “I am an idiot!” rather than “I made a mistake”, or “That drives me crazy!” rather than “I am really annoyed”? Would you respond differently if someone said to you “You are an idiot” rather than “could you have done that differently?”
One dis-empowers and the other empowers.
Have you ever had a day when nothing seems to go right, you feel tense and worked up and you finally slump into you chair at the end of the day feeling spent and exhausted without feeling like you have achieved anything?
Consider what you may have been thinking and saying out loud in communication with others that day?
On the other hand, when we do operate from our Higher Self, we experience flow and ease, things don’t phase us and at the end of the day we still have some energy in reserve.
Does it make sense that if you improved the quality of your thoughts and language you could improve the quality of your life?
The choice is yours.
You can either tune into your chatterbox and speak from that perspective, or you can tune into you Higher Self and lead with thoughts and language that comes from a more positive space. By taking control of your habitual vocabulary and using transformational vocabulary instead you can literally transform your life.
The following list of transformational vocabulary could be the starting place for improving your daily outcomes.
Chatter Box
Higher Self
I try to control
I trust
I am in turmoil
I am at peace
I am bored
I am filled up
I am dissatisfied
I am content
I am helpless
I am helpful
I am always disappointed
I go with what is
I am lonely
I am connected
I never enjoy
I am joyful
The self-sabotage of buts and if’s
There are some words I just don’t use anymore. One of these is the word “but”.
“But” is one of those words that when use in a sentence it sabotages everything that comes before it. “But” can render things you say as conditional or judgmental, and can indicate you are externally controlled or avoiding change.
For example: “I love you but why don’t you …” is judgmental, “I’d love to go but I don’t have anything to wear” is conditional, “ I’d like to but what of it rains tomorrow?” is externally controlled, and “I’d like to but I don’t have the skills” is avoiding change.
We especially use the “I love you but … ” in relationship and immediately have an impact that doesn’t support the words “I love you”. It sends a message that your love is conditional and depends on the other person doing or being whatever you finished the sentence with. Another common “but” sentence is the classic “Yes, but ..”. This is one that comes out when you are in a discussion with a work colleague, a friend, a family member and you have opposing ideas. The other person has spent some time adding their idea or theory and all of a sudden you butt in (pun intended) and completely disregard whatever they said with “Yes, but …. blah blah your idea”. How is the feeling in the room then? Do you get the best outcome from the discussion?
The other word is “if”. In my opinion, “If” has a feeling of longing and scarcity which conjures up visions of slumped unhappy figures stuck in the past holding on to regret, or worrying about the future with expectation and wishing reality was different.
For example: “If only I had done …” brings up regret, “If you were different, I would be happy” sets up an expectation that is externally controlled, and my unfavourite “If only …” wishes reality was different.
You can have an immediate effect of yourself and others around you by removing these words from your vocabulary by changing “but” to “and” and not saying "if" at all. “I love you AND …” doesn’t change the fact the you love them and feels completely different to the listener, for example “I love you AND why don’t you try ….”.
Raising your health and well-being through your language
Research in epigenetics says that the basis for virtually all our physical health conditions is energy related with everything resonating at a certain vibration. The research goes on to suggest that the spoken word directly affects our health, the level of our vibration and state of well-being. According to the Russian biophysicist and molecular biologist Pjotr Garjajev the words we speak can have an influencing effect on how our DNA instructs information to our cells.
Further, Dr David Hawkins, MD, PhD in his book “Power Vs Force” maps out and scales the vibrational frequencies of emotions and feelings, which are all expressed in language and words. This means the way we talk and what thoughts we include in our chatterbox has the power to alter our genetic and DNA expression. Dr Hawkins Emotional Vibrancy Scale locates emotions (and their inherent language and thoughts) on a scale of 0 to 1000. For example: apathy vibrates at 50, anger at 150, acceptance at 365 and love at 500.
It follows then that choosing to transform your vocabulary with words that vibrate higher on the scale could improve your well-being and empower you bring about changes in your life.
Old choice
New alternative
No problem
Its my pleasure
No a bad deal
It’s a good deal
Don’t be late
Please be home on time
Stressed
Busy
Livid
Annoyed
Stupid
Not resourceful, learning
Hate
Prefer
Disgusted
Surprised
It’s a work in progress
Much of the language we use and the thoughts we think have been influenced by what we learned as we grew. Unhelpful sabotaging self-chatter is often “picked” up as children and you only have to listen to what people say to understand that “minding your language” is not something that many people are conscious of and could stem from embedded cultural use of the language. The key to changing old habits is awareness.
The choice is yours.
Steps to transformation:
1. Listen to what you say and think to yourself
2. Check your chatterbox.
3. Change one thing to get started.
The easiest for me was to replace “BUT” with “AND”.
4. Think before you speak
5. Practice, practice, practice
6. Notice how your world changes for the better around you.
Making different choices around your chatterbox, minding your language you can literally transform your life and improve your health and wellbeing.
Would you like to know more? Contact me
The importance of our words and language.
Did you know that we have 60,000 thoughts a day? Our thoughts convert into language where we express ourselves and communicate with others. The words we use consistently describe the emotions of life and out of the approximately 3000 words in the English language that describe emotions only about 1000 describe positive emotions and the other 2000 describe negative emotions.
According to Anthony Robbins “The words we use not only affect the experience, they become the experience”
You might be familiar with the thoughts is creative process where we think something, it initiates an action, that then produces a result, which informs our belief system, which impacts our next thought. If we are also speaking out that thought “today is a bad day”, “why do I always get the raw end of the deal”, “this drives me crazy” then we are in effect creating that experience in the moment …. Moment by moment.
On top of that, 60,000 thoughts a day is equivalent to 2500 thoughts an hour or approximately 40 thoughts a minute. Let’s say 10% of those thoughts are negative ones. That equates to you internally telling yourself 5760 times a day that something is not working for you (“I am stuck”, “I am useless”, “I and stupid”.
When we are talking to ourselves (internal thoughts) in this way it’s called our internal chatterbox, and Anthony Robbins goes on to call the act of speaking out your internal chatterbox “dis-empowering mind language”. Imagine putting money in the swear jar every time you spoke that way to your self!
Over a lifetime the accumulating and stacking of the internal chatterbox and dis-empowering language into your body brain system has a huge impact on our life (and a fat jar). It is likely that at best we are not living the life to our fullest potential and at worse we are living a life filled with overwhelm, frustration and anxiety?
Where do our thoughts and mind language come from?
Let’s say we have three levels of existence: The Higher Self where our super conscious, connected and intuitive Self holds positive thoughts; The Middle Self which is the home of our conscious and reasoning thought; and the Lower Self where the subconscious memories and the negative mind language and chatterbox and lives.
Most of the time we mill around the lower and middle Self, trying to reason with the past, worrying about the future and bombarding our self with mindless chatter. This is when we struggle against life and everything feels like a huge effort which takes inordinate amounts of energy to just get through the day.
Your language has an affect on how you feel. How different do you feel when you say: “I am an idiot!” rather than “I made a mistake”, or “That drives me crazy!” rather than “I am really annoyed”? Would you respond differently if someone said to you “You are an idiot” rather than “could you have done that differently?”
One dis-empowers and the other empowers.
Have you ever had a day when nothing seems to go right, you feel tense and worked up and you finally slump into you chair at the end of the day feeling spent and exhausted without feeling like you have achieved anything?
Consider what you may have been thinking and saying out loud in communication with others that day?
On the other hand, when we do operate from our Higher Self, we experience flow and ease, things don’t phase us and at the end of the day we still have some energy in reserve.
Does it make sense that if you improved the quality of your thoughts and language you could improve the quality of your life?
The choice is yours.
You can either tune into your chatterbox and speak from that perspective, or you can tune into you Higher Self and lead with thoughts and language that comes from a more positive space. By taking control of your habitual vocabulary and using transformational vocabulary instead you can literally transform your life.
The following list of transformational vocabulary could be the starting place for improving your daily outcomes.
Chatter Box
Higher Self
I try to control
I trust
I am in turmoil
I am at peace
I am bored
I am filled up
I am dissatisfied
I am content
I am helpless
I am helpful
I am always disappointed
I go with what is
I am lonely
I am connected
I never enjoy
I am joyful
The self-sabotage of buts and if’s
There are some words I just don’t use anymore. One of these is the word “but”.
“But” is one of those words that when use in a sentence it sabotages everything that comes before it. “But” can render things you say as conditional or judgmental, and can indicate you are externally controlled or avoiding change.
For example: “I love you but why don’t you …” is judgmental, “I’d love to go but I don’t have anything to wear” is conditional, “ I’d like to but what of it rains tomorrow?” is externally controlled, and “I’d like to but I don’t have the skills” is avoiding change.
We especially use the “I love you but … ” in relationship and immediately have an impact that doesn’t support the words “I love you”. It sends a message that your love is conditional and depends on the other person doing or being whatever you finished the sentence with. Another common “but” sentence is the classic “Yes, but ..”. This is one that comes out when you are in a discussion with a work colleague, a friend, a family member and you have opposing ideas. The other person has spent some time adding their idea or theory and all of a sudden you butt in (pun intended) and completely disregard whatever they said with “Yes, but …. blah blah your idea”. How is the feeling in the room then? Do you get the best outcome from the discussion?
The other word is “if”. In my opinion, “If” has a feeling of longing and scarcity which conjures up visions of slumped unhappy figures stuck in the past holding on to regret, or worrying about the future with expectation and wishing reality was different.
For example: “If only I had done …” brings up regret, “If you were different, I would be happy” sets up an expectation that is externally controlled, and my unfavourite “If only …” wishes reality was different.
You can have an immediate effect of yourself and others around you by removing these words from your vocabulary by changing “but” to “and” and not saying "if" at all. “I love you AND …” doesn’t change the fact the you love them and feels completely different to the listener, for example “I love you AND why don’t you try ….”.
Raising your health and well-being through your language
Research in epigenetics says that the basis for virtually all our physical health conditions is energy related with everything resonating at a certain vibration. The research goes on to suggest that the spoken word directly affects our health, the level of our vibration and state of well-being. According to the Russian biophysicist and molecular biologist Pjotr Garjajev the words we speak can have an influencing effect on how our DNA instructs information to our cells.
Further, Dr David Hawkins, MD, PhD in his book “Power Vs Force” maps out and scales the vibrational frequencies of emotions and feelings, which are all expressed in language and words. This means the way we talk and what thoughts we include in our chatterbox has the power to alter our genetic and DNA expression. Dr Hawkins Emotional Vibrancy Scale locates emotions (and their inherent language and thoughts) on a scale of 0 to 1000. For example: apathy vibrates at 50, anger at 150, acceptance at 365 and love at 500.
It follows then that choosing to transform your vocabulary with words that vibrate higher on the scale could improve your well-being and empower you bring about changes in your life.
Old choice
New alternative
No problem
Its my pleasure
No a bad deal
It’s a good deal
Don’t be late
Please be home on time
Stressed
Busy
Livid
Annoyed
Stupid
Not resourceful, learning
Hate
Prefer
Disgusted
Surprised
It’s a work in progress
Much of the language we use and the thoughts we think have been influenced by what we learned as we grew. Unhelpful sabotaging self-chatter is often “picked” up as children and you only have to listen to what people say to understand that “minding your language” is not something that many people are conscious of and could stem from embedded cultural use of the language. The key to changing old habits is awareness.
The choice is yours.
Steps to transformation:
1. Listen to what you say and think to yourself
2. Check your chatterbox.
3. Change one thing to get started.
The easiest for me was to replace “BUT” with “AND”.
4. Think before you speak
5. Practice, practice, practice
6. Notice how your world changes for the better around you.
Making different choices around your chatterbox, minding your language you can literally transform your life and improve your health and wellbeing.
Would you like to know more? Contact me
measuring your personal energy frequency and how breathwork can raise the frequency
A personal reflection on how a single photo led to emotional growth and heart opening